“People began to tell me they felt isolated, invisible, and insignificant. Even when they couldn’t put their finger on the word “lonely,” time and time again, people of all ages and socioeconomic backgrounds, from every corner of the country, would tell me, “I have to shoulder all of life’s
burdens by myself,” or “if I disappear tomorrow, no one will even notice.”“Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling—it harms both individual and societal health. It is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death. The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that
caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and even greater than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity.”
- Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, Surgeon General of the United States
Welcome to my TEDx talk
Reading this study reminded me of the time a few years ago that I was asked to submit a talk for TEDx.
While I’m sure the reason I was selected as a potential presenter was likely more focused on the work at CTBC, I felt that my presentation should be more focused on a bigger picture, one that I have felt deeply since getting involved in the cycling world- community. Ultimately, my talk wasn’t chosen, and that’s fine, there are so many great subjects out there for a TEDx talk.
About 15 years ago I found myself in my early 30s, recently divorced after an 8 year relationship, in a new space, and without any of the connections I had built over those years. I spent most of my days sitting in my house, smoking cigarettes, drinking an unhealthy amount, and largely doing nothing but ruminating on how I got to this place in my life.
I’d go out occasionally to see if I could run into any of the folks I knew in the before times, but that was more or less a fool’s errand. If I did see someone, I’d quickly realize how we’ve all changed in the last decade, and I really wasn’t bringing anything to the table in any sort of relationship.
What can I do to change my situation in life that doesn’t require anyone else?
After a year or so of this, I started to think about how much I liked riding bikes in my teen years. How it was sort of a way to clear the cobwebs in your brain, and have some deep quality time to yourself. So, I went on Craigslist (FB Marketplace wasn’t a thing yet) and found a beautiful Trek 1200 for sale for $280. It was just barely in my price range, and I figured I’d give it a shot.
I spent the first few weeks riding in small circles in the neighborhood crushing big numbers like 1-3 miles, I was killing it! I mean, physical activity was brutal at the time, so I felt pretty good about any amount of miles. The best part, I could do it by myself, on my own time, and nobody could tell me that I couldn’t ride my bike, or I had to ride my bike. It was something I had 100% control over, and at this point of life, everything else was hanging on by a thread, so having the ability to decisively do something for myself was amazing.
Eventually, I braved the local group rides. Feeling confident in myself that I could make it 10-12 miles, albeit, I didn’t know those folks rode 10-12 miles in like 45 minutes! However, it was a great way to continue to push myself, and I was starting to meet folks who would give me pointers, talk to me about cycling, and I found out there were rides all over the place!
During this time, I was still more or less lonely. I still focused heavily on just the fitness level of riding, and less on the social aspects. I rode for years with my brother, which was fantastic. We were incredibly close, as we would find ourselves in some really dumb map routing situations which made for awesome stories later. I rode with my now close friend Viv, and he was an absolute hoot to be around- both pushing me physically, and his wry British humor always there to help in the dark spots (I will never get that stupid song he made up about Dahlonega out of my head).
However, it wasn’t until I met this fella named Tim Landholt that I realized there was more to bikes than going fast in lycra.
This was my introduction to community. To a bike parts sharing thing called a “co-op”. Theirs was Blackbird. This hodgepodge group of guys and women were having a blast! Tim introduced me to everyone as if we had been friends for years! I was immediately invited to social rides, house parties, movie screenings- O. M. G!
We would do night rides, we would get dressed up and do silly rides- and nobody cared what you rode! There was no judgement. These folks knew what’s up. Even more amazing, if something wasn’t working right on your bike, odds were someone in the group could help. I was utterly blown away. This was my dream come true! Yes, I was the oldest by almost a decade, but nobody cared. It was just about fun.
Over the next few years, I would largely hang up my go-fast carbon bike and build several flavors of fixed gear bikes- bikes that I rode in regular street clothes, bikes I could commute on to meet friends, bikes that existed for the express purpose of riding with friends. During this time I started to grow a significant group of friends in town, but also in Charleston. Talk about crazy- only a year or so earlier, I really didn’t have anyone I could call to chat with, but now I could go to Charleston and within 20 minutes on my bike, be sitting with a group of friends at A.C.’s with no advanced heads-up. In Columbia, I could grab my bike and ride it downtown and end up (somehow) in a swimming pool of some student housing with David King and a case of PBR. There were close folks everywhere just looking for an excuse to ride bikes and do silly stuff.
That crushing loneliness that I had for years had completely vanished. Somehow a fella in his (now later) 30’s had a great social safety net. It was during this time that I realized we needed to restart that thing that was Blackburn (and later Cola Town Bike Co-op). I wanted everyone to have accessibility to what I had experienced. Not necessarily the go-fast roadie stuff, but the community, the camaraderie, and a general notion of place.
I started the CTBC 10 years ago in my garage, because I googled where all great things start and it said “garage”- and wouldn’t you know it, my house had one of those! This was only short lived, though, as we soon found an abandoned warehouse that we would soon move to. It had no electrical, no water, only 3 walls, but immediately it had the backing of the community.
Over the years the community has only grown. Columbia is seeing more and more faces on bikes and sometimes the casual in town rides see 50+ riders, even with kids in tow. We go camping, ride in the country, even drive half way across the country to ride together.
Reading the Surgeon General’s report, I can’t help but to think Pillar 6: Cultivate a Culture of Connection could be summed up by Tyler The Creator:
“Get a bunch of bikes and ride them around with your friends. It’s the shit.”
Link to the Surgeon General study: (PDF warning)
https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf
